Wash your mouth out with soap – 1

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Remember this saying when we were kids…..it sounded horrifying,
SOAP…IN YOUR MOUTH! Gross

Now I know the taste of soap in my mouth was the beginning of a long and thorough investigation. I am pretty sure there has been less man hours spent hunting for serial killers (in some police departments at least).

I recall sitting at my desk one day, minding my own business, getting on with my work (think of Dawn from The Office) and out of nowhere I can taste soap. What have I eaten? Did I touch soap and stick my fingers in my mouth? Did I not rinse my cup properly? Yuk, I will need to throw this tea out and make another. I carried on with my day and when I got home, there it was again…soap. Is it the dishwasher tablets I wonder, has it not washed the plates properly? I brush my teeth…that’s better.

The relief doesn’t last long. The next day, the same thing, and the next day and the next. On and off, out of nowhere, for no particular reason. I taste soap.

I begin to research what may be causing this. I complain about it at work and my boss says very adamantly, it’s Candida “I had that and I lost my taste, that’s what it is”. Candida (I learn that evening) is where extra bacteria grows in the body and is known medically as “candidiasis”. It can cause an array of symptoms, one being oral thrush which I decide is the cause of my soapy mouth. I march straight to the nearest chemist the next day and buy several anti-fungal gels and proceed to pour them all over my soapy tongue and I sit and wait for my taste to be restored. That will do it, I say to myself.

But it doesn’t do it. I continue with my research and learn Candida can be kept at bay with a specific diet called…wait for it…’The Candida Diet‘. I spent hours looking through this very informative and educational website and I learn a lot about Candida and get very annoyed at the restrictive diet I have decided I need to follow to eliminate my soapy mouth. I also research other possibilities and find several other culprits; too much fluoride in the tap water (I start drinking bottled water only), too much fluoride in my toothpaste (I switch to herbal toothpaste), I visit the dentist, perhaps it’s gingivitis. I brush, floss and rinse twice daily for weeks. No change.

By this point I had my soapy mouth all the time but when I ate I could still taste flavours. I don’t recall the time this changed, I just remember it getting worse and becoming an even more disgusting taste until eventually, even food tasted gross. I turned to eating plain foods. Chips, potatoes, cheese pizza and smothering them in chilli powder until this was no longer enough and I upgraded to cayenne pepper. My diet became terrible; I hated eating, everything tasted gross but I have never been one to skip a meal so I carried on shovelling gross food showered in cayenne pepper into to my soapy mouth. This continued for about 10 weeks, until one day I can taste a flavour! At first I think I am imagining it as the next meal was back to grossness. This yo-yo effect continued over a few days and eventually I realise, my soapy mouth has gone. I didn’t know how or why, I didn’t care.

 

 

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